So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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