It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
