Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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