U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
