Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
