then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
