Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
