I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
