i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
