I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
