I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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