Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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