Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
