Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
