hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
