dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
