Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
