There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
