What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
