The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize