I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it's great music for shaving your balls
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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