I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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