Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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