Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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