I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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