And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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