marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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