I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i think i just lost a toe
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
