so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
