it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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