Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
