You really coming over, don't trick.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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