Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
