So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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