I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
