we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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