As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
