I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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