how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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