Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
