no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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