I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
