am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
