if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
