Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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