I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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