okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
