come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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