I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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