I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize