Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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