Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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