At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
