white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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