hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
