I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
