My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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