Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
