I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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