I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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