the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
