is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Hippo gnu deer
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
