I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This baby is an asshole
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
