'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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